I grew up in Colombia, the country of magic realism. From wearing yellow underwear to running with a suitcase around our neighborhoods at midnight, New Year's Eve has myths and rituals that help us tune into festive and optimistic moods. Today's blog is devoted to the writing practices of reflection and envisioning what I am used to doing as I prepare to transition between years. Might they spark some inspiration? In my younger days, I engaged in mainly two journaling practices, and as an adult, I have added a third one to my list.
The first of them, let's call it "Set a fire with your struggles," involves turning awareness back, month to month, and paying attention to any problematic memories, conflicts, or misfortunes. Writing these challenging experiences down on paper helps us set up the intention of leaving those struggles behind. Some families have a gigantic doll called 'taitapuro/año viejo' with fireworks and wrinkled paper balls of sorrows. My parents have never been fond of igniting fireworks, especially around children. Instead, my family would gather around the fire and burn, one by one, the emotionally heavy loaded paper sheets. While some people decided to share out loud the challenges they didn't want to bring with them for the next year, others preferred to remain quiet about them. As a family therapist, my mom added her twist to the ritual; she would ask us to also think about situations where forgiveness, surrender, gratitude, patience, or any other value was needed. She invited us to voice the struggle and consider attitudes and actions that would help us move on.
The second journaling practice is "the twelve wishes," which we used to do in connection to the "doce uvas/twelve grapes" ritual. In many Spanish-speaking countries, there is a tradition of eating twelve grapes at midnight during New Year's Eve and asking for one wish per grape one swallows, visualizing what we want to experience in the coming months. The minutes before and after midnight on New Year's Eve are rather busy for us Colombians; given that we have hundreds of rituals and fun stuff to do to welcome the year, it is handy to have the list with the 12 wishes available beforehand. At home, we would sit in silence, sometimes in different rooms of the house, and discern what to prioritize. Health, wealth, good performance at school/work, nourishment in my relationships, and even political peace would often be in my mind. When the time to eat the grapes would come, the twelve wishes had already been chosen carefully, leaving enough time to eat the grapes at a fast pace and proceed to make a toast, jump from a chair, hug and kiss our beloved ones, sing, dance, and or even run with our luggage around the neighborhood greeting whoever we pass by. I hope you can, at least once in a lifetime, experience a 31st December in a Colombian household; our joy is contagious. You do not need to understand the rationale of all our traditions, neither do we; you will be invited into playfulness and optimism, as we are great hosts and make the smallest of details an opportunity for celebration.
As for the third journaling practice, I have recently added it to my rituals, and I call it a "yearly review." There are several formats available on the internet about evaluating what has worked well and gone astray in the year that is coming to an end and what we envision to experience more or less of in the upcoming year. In a nutshell, sit quietly and look back to the past months. Reflect on the memories you cherish, the achievements to feel proud of, and the mistakes you can learn from. Then, make specific behavioral goals for the year to come and do some planning that is as specific as possible. Consider sharing your yearly review with friends, your partner, your therapist, or your coach.
Before I end, I want to share with you some journaling questions that might be of use:
What emotional wounds have been inflicted and or deepened this year?
What emotional wounds or old patterns have I healed, even if partially?
What does my inner critic say about the areas of my life where I still feel stuck?
What can I say to express kindness and compassion towards the areas of my life I am most critical about?
What have I learned about myself this year?
What have I learned about life this year?
Which skills, qualities, and values have helped me overcome this year's uncertainties?
What kind of self-care ritual(s) can help me nourish myself next year (e.g., meditation, journaling, solo walks, slow dance, the way of tea, etc.)?
Ps. For those of you who are curious enough, we use yellow underwear as a symbol of luck (and some of the single people in my homeland would wear red underwear, hoping to find love in the year to come). We run with suitcases full of holiday clothing as it is said that those who do so after midnight will travel to their desired destinations in the year that had just begun. I can't complain, but I have always traveled more than I wished for, felt lucky enough even during my dark days, and even if love took its time to arrive at my door, waiting was worth it. The right man reads on the sofa next to me while I write.
With my warmest wishes for you,
Olga.
Lindo escrito, un feliz y próspero 2024. Adry!